If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Vodka?
Forever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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