I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
