i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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