Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize