He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
