how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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