i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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