Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This is the high leading the old right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
