help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
