so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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