go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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