obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
