dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize