I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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