i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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