So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
