he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
