I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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