i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize