you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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