The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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