Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
