Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am midnight drunk by noon
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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