Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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