Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
