everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
