Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
