i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
