we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
