so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
