they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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