Your face is a jimmy john
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
