I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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