Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
