I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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