Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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