sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
