So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize