69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
