You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize