Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
