Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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