Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
