i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
