Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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