I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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