You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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