how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
