ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
