Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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