we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just pee around me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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