I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
