Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
