No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
